A glimpse into my 20's...

Here we go...In 20 minutes I will be 29. I know to most that seems so old and to others, so very young. I agree with both. The growth and maturity that occurs during your early 20's to mid 20's is SO significant! I feel like I changed into a completely different person over night by the time I was 26! The things I held fast to seemed so shallow and insignificant. My views on the world and values had changed. My faith had blossomed and grown. Those few years seemed so important to me and so critical but now I think of my next few years and how crucial THOSE will be! Either way, that last 9 or so years of my life have been, devastating, glorious, shocking, emotional, peaceful, full filling, dramatic, dreamy and above all, Messon! Here is a small and brief glimpse of what I've seen and experienced over the last 9 years.

My dad and step mom, Helen

My mom and dad a few years after they divorced

My parents divorced and my father remarried, bitter sweet and still something that lingers and affects my daily life.

My love

I was married and divorced with a baby by the time I was 23 (something most people don't know about me).  That season of life was very dark and depressing but God had a plan for me and my sweet Bella and bigger, better things were waiting for us! That plan involved BJ. He swooped right into our lives and we all fell in love. We like to say that Bella and I adopted him :)

By the time I was 27 I had given birth to 2 more girls!

My littles

the boat

The RV

Our boy

The cat

We moved to south Texas and we became pet owners, boat owners, RV owners....some phases lasting longer than others.

My west Texas nieces and only nephew :)

my south Texas nieces

My youngest niece

Over the past few years I have become an aunt!

My Grandad came to visit!

I have seen my brother grow into a man and graduate college! I had to say good bye to sweet Grandmommy a couple years ago.

Amanda :)

Kim :)

Shea :)

The men :)

I have lost contact with close friends that I grew up with. I have developed new friendships with precious people.

Bella turning 6!

Starting 1st grade!

Kinder at home

Bella being baptized by her Daddy :)

Kinder graduation with her buddy :)

I have seen my babies grow and change into little women right in front of me!! I have home schooled. I have learned to cook. I've seen my oldest completely give her little life to Christ! She's been baptized and has inspired ME to be a better Christian.

Rota what?!

I can't say I'm sad to see February go. Although it's the shortest month it seemed to drag on! I'm welcoming March with open arms and looking forward to spring. These past couple weeks have been challenging to say the least. Our home seems to of been under attack! 

Last week BJ and I were woken up by the sound of Jude throwing up. These poor little people just have no way of warning you that it's coming till it's already gone. She continued to throw up every couple hours and by the time morning came we had gone through every sheet, blanket, towel, etc. and her room was a disaster! I took her into the doctor that morning and she seemed to be getting worse by the minutes. She was in and out of sleep and would only wake up to vomit. Her poor little lips were so cracked and her face was pale. She slept on me the whole time we waited to see the doctor, something she rarely does anymore since she's so big and independent now. :(

Sitting in the waiting room

At the Doctors office

When we finally saw the doctor (Alice wait time is AT least 3 hours :/) he said that she was extremely dehydrated and needed some fluids right away and the best way to give her that was through an IV. I knew where this was going since this would not be our first time to have a child be admitted to the hospital. We did all the paper work and headed over to Christus Spohn in Alice. Why there you may wonder? That is the closest hospital to where we live and the one that our pediatrician can see patients at. Although he's not in the best area or town ( sorry Abby!! You know I love Alice!) he's a very good doctor. ANYWAY,  when we finally got there we had to wait at least 3 hours for a room to open up since the pediatric wing was full. In the mean time they took her blood and did a few tests. Finally our room was ready! They came in to do her IV, the part I dread the most, and she was so dehydrated that it took them several times of trying, with a break in between to give her time to calm down, and then they finally got it. That was extremely painful to watch. We had to hold her down and she was just screaming at us with fear in her eyes. AH, I hate that!!

Asleep in her "baby cage"

Her hospital food

We really thought she would get some fluids in her and be back to normal the next day but that wasn't the case. Once her vomiting stopped, the diarrhea came...and it never stopped! I will spare you the rest but they did some more tests and found out she had Rotavirus. This is an infection in small children, usually under the age of 2, and it's a nasty thing!! It lasts for days and is very contagious. Her 1 night stay ended up being 4 nights and 5 days. BJ and I had to take turns staying with her so the other could see the big littles. It was emotionally draining and tiring on us all. Jude had her good and bad days but for the most part did alright.

Her poor little hand where they tried to get an IV in :(

 

 

 

 

On a bad day

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On a good day :)

Day before going home!

The day before she was released BJ was with the girls at home and he started to feel sick. Adults rarely get the Rotavirus but if they do it's usually not as extreme or intense as the younger ones, although it can be! Well, he ended up getting something similar and we had to have the girls stay with our "family" out here and thank GOD for them (Shea Shea and Nana T)!! By this point I was SO over staying at the hospital and I felt so helpless and defeated. BJ was sick, the girls weren't with either one of us and I was just praying they didn't get this as well. We finally went home on Sunday and as soon as we walked outside those hospital doors, Jude perked right up and was ready to go!! She has been fine ever since, Praise God!!

RV park over looking the lake

Spring flowers

The next morning we went on a walk and I was SO excited to be home and to start getting things back to normal! Zephyr had never looked so gorgeous!

About 3 hours later Beau started throwing up...sigh.

My sweet Beau Beaus

I couldn't believe it! This sickness seemed never ending! I felt like our whole lives were on hold. BJ had it, I had a mild version of it and now Beau?! Needless to say, it's been a LONG week. We had to cancel all of our usual stuff during the week and have basically been on lock down here at the house. Now that I see how brutal and nasty this virus is, I would hate if any other kids got this! Beau is still not back to normal but is getting there and hopefully will be 100% by Monday. My mood has been...fun...notice the sarcasm and I finally forced myself to get ready and do my make up yesterday hoping that would boost my spirits, nah. 
Bella was the only one that seemed to of not gotten it...until this morning! You may be wondering why I'm blogging at 5:30 in the morning! This is not normal for me. She came in around 5 and was sick to her stomach. After a bath, load of laundry (and again, I'll spare the gross details) she fell asleep on the couch so I decided to blog since I couldn't go back to sleep.

I know this too shall pass and things could be SO MUCH worse and I'm so very grateful for that. I realize I sound like a "Debby Downer" and you're probably asking yourself "Why am I reading this??" and I apologize for that. I guess I just needed to vent so thank you for letting me do that! I'm continuing to pray for healing, strength and patience through this whole thing. God is good and in control and I'm so glad He's on our side! :)

Sick littles

Just when you think you've got things figured out...

I always forget that I have a blog, as silly as that sounds. I love to journal and have separate journals for each of my daughters, one for myself and one for B.J. and I. Just a few days ago, B.J. had to start a journal for one of his classes so I was reminded that I have one and need to update it!! So much has come and gone and I'm not sure where to begin so I figured I would write about the most recent, most life changing event that has occurred in our lives.

About 2 weeks ago I received a late night call from my dad with an urgent message to return his call. I didn't get the message till the following day. When I finally returned his call, he informed me that his wife, my step mother of several years,  had suffered from an aneurysm the day before while she was teaching her elementary class. I couldn't even process the information quick enough to understand it. Helen had been rushed to  the hospital and was about to undergo brain surgery later that morning.  The news was shocking and terrifying all at once. Most people that you hear have had an aneurysm don't even make it.
My dad, John Baffert, is one of the most genuine, God fearing men I have ever met. He can't help but witness to the homeless people standing on the road asking for money. Or the unsuspecting mother in the grocery aisle. He's not ashamed of his undying love for Jesus Christ and will let everyone know it! You don't meet many people like him. When I was a little girl I would get SO embarrassed by his freedom and unashamed, adoring love for Christ. As an adult, I admire him and  tear up at the thought of his efforts to educate everyone about the incredible, free gift that is theirs for the taking! Anyway, with all that said, my father was handling this all very well. God had given him the strength and encouragement to get through this and to stay strong for his wife and for their children. 

Helen made MIRACULOUS strides and it looks like she will make a full recovery which we hear is rare. She's an incredible woman and a fighter. My sisters and I were able to go see her and my dad in Tucson this past week. The entire experience was so surreal and emotional. You really don't think about your life ending or changing in a matter of seconds.  My dad has always reminded us that this is not our permanent home and he cant wait to be promoted! As a child I would ponder this thought and feel so sad at the the thought of my parents leaving us. Now I realize this is what we've been waiting for and I too cant wait to go home! :)

I can't believe 2010 is almost over. It's been an interesting year for sure. We put our tree up the other day. We decided to buy a fake one this time. The past couple years we bought a real one and they always died way before Christmas and made such a huge mess. This year we gave in and bought the artificial! It's the perfect size for our house and the girls love it. Everyone helped decorate it, even Jude. I always envision us spending the evening taking out all of stuff, Christmas music in the back ground, the girls sipping hot chocolate, me with some wine, BJ and I holding hands as we smile at our precious girls. Please!! Who am I kidding?! I always get WAY too stressed out as the girls go through all the bins, taking everything out at once and throwing it to the floor. Every year we open those bins to find one more thing broken. It seems that for the past 3 years we've had a baby or toddler crawling around or learning to walk around Christmas. Jude was VERY helpful this year...She would walk right up after the girls had carefully placed their ornaments, all bunched up in the same place of course, and take it off. She seemed to really enjoy teasing them. Wonder where she gets that from. :)
She's getting better at leaving the ornaments alone but I still find her hiding some in her room from time to time.

This is our first year to have a cat and I wasn't sure what she would think of the tree. Apparently she thinks it's her  own personal space and doesn't like if we go near it. Her new favorite spot in on the tree skirt OR climbing up it!! I have caught her several times trying to climb it. Really?! They do that?! She is worse than the girls! She loves that tree. Weird...

This time of year my littles always get sick. They get sick often I guess you could say but right around now is when they all get really bad chest colds. Beau always needs to cough but doesn't like to I guess so she just keeps it in her throat. You know when you're talking to someone and they totally need to clear their throat but don't? That's Beau!! We're always telling her to clear her throat but she just walks away saying,"Me did!" in her raspy voice. It never bothers her. Not much does. She will be walking on a flat surface right next to us and then we hear a thud and turn around and she's lying on the floor dusting off her knees. Her little legs are like rubber and they just give out, leaving her on the ground. She rarely ever cries about it though. Just gets up and says,"My fine" and moves on.

On Saturdays I try to make a big, special breakfast for the girls. I'm a huge fan of breakfast, although I don't always eat it, I love the idea of it and love to make it. Homemade donuts is one of their favorites!

I hope it's one of those things they always remember me doing. Donuts and chocolate chip pancakes have always been "our" thing and I just hope they remember and do something similar with their children. :)

I love him like a crazy person.

I talk so much about my littles because I love them dearly and they are always with me but BJ is what I'm writing about tonight!
He is my favorite, my very best friend and my home. I'm not a very sappy, romantic person but I consider myself pretty passionate about certain things and pretty honest and real. With me, you get what you see. I can't hide my feelings, thoughts or expressions very well. With that said, BJ gets me, me respects me and loves me unconditionally which is more than I deserve! He's the husband that I never dreamed I would have and the most hands on, involved, dependent father for our girls. They don't even realize how blessed they truly are to have a father like him. I know when they're older they'll see what an incredible Godly man he was to our family.
A few months ago BJ was asked if he'd like the opportunity to go on a missions trip this fall to Guatemala for 8 days. He was thrilled and beside himself with excitement. He'd never done anything that before and  would of left that day if he could! I've always felt like God has HUGE plans for BJ and this is only the beginning so I knew he had to go on this trip. He and the group left last Wednesday and will be returning this Thursday. We both knew it was going to be hard on us and the girls but that it was totally worth it and we would power through it! This will be the longest he and I have been apart and the longest the girls will go without seeing him. Being that he works where he lives, we are fortunate to see him often and have almost every meal together.  Our girls are so used to seeing him ALL the time so with him gone, it's definitely been an adjustment.

He always takes Bella to school every morning and will either pick her up a donut or have breakfast with her at school. I guess I'm pretty spoiled....not having to drag all 3 of the Littles out the door before 7:30. I always appreciated that he wanted to take her to school but not like I do now! He is so very missed!
We were at church on Sunday and Bella just broke down crying saying she just missed her Dad. I wanted to cry along with her!

Beau has been extra defiant and whenever I ask her why she's hitting, talking back or not listening she says,"Yes mam.I don't know. I want Daddy!!!". I'm sure I'm not the most pleasant when he's gone but I hope I'm not THAT bad to be around.





Jude's not sure what's going on and feels the need to cry whenever Beau does. They're teaming up on me!

 BJ's a good Daddy and we're so proud to be his girls!

 Washing dishes with their Dad!

 Being sick is not that bad if you have your Dad.

We have us a good, good man! Counting down the days till he's with us!

Have I turned into THAT mom?!

Well...it has been months since I last updated apparently. June to be exact. Summer ended and our lives got incredibly busy very fast! I guess I will start with August and Bella. She started 1st grade in a public school this year for the first time! This is a big deal to our family because I've home schooled for the past two years and she hasn't had much "real life" experience. Growing up at camp can sometimes be seclusive and sheltered so we weren't sure how she would do.  She begged us to let her go and the school district closest to us opened up to transfer students so we decided to give it a shot and she.....LOVES IT!! I can't believe how well she has adjusted. I think she appreciates it more since she's never experienced anything like it. She absolutely loves the cafeteria food (especially the chocolate milk)and has developed a MAJOR crush on a boy. I realize this is typical for a girl her age but she is border line obsessive! The first few weeks she would just watch him, very closely and his mother! She learned his mothers name by listening to a conversation she was having with another parent during pick up time. She knows what he eats everyday and what his backpack is AND how he wears it! She has developed this smile that she does when she sees him or gets embarrassed. Basically she just sucks her cheeks in really tight and does this fast paced walk down the hall. She almost looks like the speed walkers in the mall. It's so crazy to watch! Her Dad doesn't  like all the boy talk :) 
Since she started school in August I feel like we have been SO busy! We drive over 60 miles a day to take and pick her up and then  between AWANAS and other church and school things, it can be overwhelming at times. I feel like THAT mom that I never envied. I used to complain about all the free, boring time that we had when I home schooled. Now the free time is seldom and missed. If she didn't enjoy going so much I would seriously consider pulling her out but for now, we'll stick it out.  Just a funny side note...since Halloween is around the corner I have candy in jars on the kitchen counter. The other day we were walking out of the house and I had given them all a piece for the road. Bella was eating a mini Reese's peanut butter cup. This is what she said to me, no lie! "Thanks Mom! I love Reese's penis!" I almost fell down the steps and had to hide my smile before correcting her several times! Bless her heart! We don't need her saying this at school...

Beau has become quite the big sister and has really stepped it up ( all on her own) since Bella has been in school. She's always been a helper, too much sometimes, but now she's taken on more a motherly role with Jude. I didn't realize how much I depended on Bella to help me with the girls until she left! At different times through out each week I will find Beau trying to put a bib around Judes neck...an infant bib. She now tries to pick her up and bounce her on her hip!! Jude does NOT enjoy this at all and will just yell till Beau drops her! There's no such thing as gently placing Jude down with Beau. She's just not the gentle type of girl but that's what makes her Beau! She's rough and tough and she doesn't care. She also enjoys doing Judes hair and putting shoes on her. For the most part, Jude is pretty tolerant but she has a limit. They've definitely grown a lot closer since Bella is gone and I love that. Neither one of them are T.V. kids so they keep each other pretty busy and me as well!

Jude has also grown up in the past few months and is EVERYWHERE people! I find myself always calling out her name and looking in everyone's room only to find her sitting in an empty bath tub or hiding under her crib. She has discovered the ladder on the girls bunk bed and has almost climbed to the very top!! She loves to sit on top of the couch and wave to the passing cars but often gets too excited and falls off, hitting her head on the wall on her way down. She just realized she can jump up and down and that she can bend all the way over and put her head between her legs. Her most favorite thing to do would have to be spinning around in a circle until she falls over. Just watching her do this makes me dizzy! She is smart and sneaky. I found her yesterday trying to carry a stool to the counter so she could get a better look at what I was doing. Before you know it, she's standing on the kitchen table with a Sharpie in hand, trying to color on Bellas homework! She's quick and fast. She is going through that stage of pulling her rubber band out and will NOT leave her hair up. Leaving it down limits her vision but she doesn't seem to mind one bit. I will spend way too  much time doing her hair and the second she walks away, she's pulled out her bow along with a handful of blonde hair! I would love to trim it and get it out of her eyes but her dad is not a huge fan of my haircuts...enough said.This is what she usually looks like. 


So over all it's been crazy, busy, new, too much but it's been exciting and interesting! Until next time...!