Baby fever?!

I feel like everyone around me is pregnant, trying or just having a precious bundle of joy! A year or so ago I would have been SO relieved that that wasn't me. Just going on and on (annoying, I know) about how much it sucks to be pregnant, the weight gaining, the sleepless nights, the insane hormones, the c-sections, the nursing....need I go on? But now....I want a precious bundle of joy that makes me gain weight, keeps me up all night, puts me in horrible hormone moods...etc! What is wrong with me???

The little mommies :)

After I had Beau I knew I was done having kids. It was a lot on my body and just a lot of work! Then Jude came. That pregnancy was intense and then I REALLY knew I was done having kids. I couldn't even carry her to full term and had to have my tubes tied during the c-section due to complications. I had such a peace about that decision and felt relieved that we didn't have to make it ourselves.  The first year was overwhelming, crazy and hectic! Beau was 22 months old when I had Jude and still in diapers. My hands were full!


For about a year I really felt like I was SO good with 3 daughters. Who wouldn't be?! I know I'm so blessed and fortunate to even have 1, let alone 3 but then that feeling crept up on me! I don't want that feeling! I'm sure most woman have that feeling AFTER they have all their kids...right?

The pregnant Fari ( with Jude)

I'm not the the type that loves and embraces being pregnant and looking swollen with 35 pounds of extra weight following me around. I loved feeling all the girls move and knowing that they were ours but it was still so hard!

I guess as my girls get older and more independent I get more emotional about the whole thing. I don't even understand that though because with each one I can't wait for them to BE more independent! ugh, I'm a mess!!
I often pray that God would change my heart or the circumstances, create a miracle or give me a sense of peace about the family of 5 that He blessed me with.  Today I couldn't help but think He was reminding me of what I have and what it would be like if we added one more, right now anyway.

After a long morning at VBS the girls and I headed to Corpus Christi (which is over an hour away from where we live) for an appointment Bella had. I usually go out of my way to find doctors closer to us so we don't have to drive that far but some doctors and their specialties are just not available this far out. Anyway, we ran errands before the appointment, since we were early. Jude was a mess since she didn't really nap and hates the car. You would think after 2 years of driving so far she would get used to it! So we get to the appointment only to find out my paper work is off so we have to reschedule. As my eyes started to tear up and my blood started to boil, I turned around to find Jude stealing some little girls doll, Beau going through my purse looking for gum after I told her to stay out of it and Bellas poor face as she knew my wrath was coming. It was not a good mommy moment for me for sure.

So after a LONG drive home and many tears, from us all, I came to the realization that I'm good (barely) with 3 kids, let alone girls! I can't imagine being pregnant right now and having to tend to another baby while dealing with the crazy emotions of the Thomas girls. Why am I writing all this personal stuff then? This is me coming to grips with what it is and letting all the fantasies go! I'm barely managing with the 3 littles that I've been given and I'm not ashamed to admit that. Being a mother is by far THE hardest thing I have ever done and I'm no where close to being finished with these 3 little girls. I'm not very good at it and pray for patience, extra love and strength EVERY day! I believe God knows what I can manage and He has has grace for my imperfect parenting so I'm trusting in that and moving on!

My family of 5 :)

My first time getting to hold her :)

A pro with daughters :)

You when you're young and you think you've got your whole future planned out? By the time I was 6 I knew I wanted to be a mommy, have 2 kids (a boy and a girl), and be married. As I got older I figured I would "start" having kids by the time I was 25. Because that's the right, mature age right?! Geez...I didn't have a clue what was coming my way! Never in my weirdest dreams would I think I would have 3 daughters by the time I was 29! Goes to show how much that middle school game M.A.S.H. knows! psh!

After I had Bella and Beau I decided that I was done having kids. Not that it was my decision alone but WE decided that 2 girls was perfect for us so after much prayer and wise counsel, we made the appointment for BJ to have his...well, you know...snipped! We really felt like God was telling us that this was OK and we felt a peace about it. The girls were so young at that time. Bella was 3 1/2 and Beau was 17 months old and a handful! I knew, so I thought, that I couldn't handle anymore kids. November 2, a week or so before BJs appointment, I find out that I'm pregnant!! I'm going to be honest here, I was devastated at first! BJ had a huge grin on his face while I cried and felt sorry for myself! The c-section I had with Beau was still fresh in my mind, I had lost all my baby weight, Beau was kind of starting to sleep through the night....etc! I couldn't believe it! Needless to say, obviously God had other plans for our family of 4.

Minutes after birth and struggling for air

2 days old     

Jude Galilee was born 7 1/2 months later. She was early and had some struggles in the beginning but turned out to be just fine! I seriously can't imagine our lives with out her silly, hilarious spirit. God knew what He was doing when He sent her to us.

In 4 days Jude will be turning 2! The past 2 years have really flown by and have REALLY kept me busy! Jude is all over the place and copies everything her sisters do, not always a good thing.

Trying to hold her head up. 4 months old

"What's with the creepy big sister?" :)

6 months old

7 months old

8 months old

Classic bath picture

Her first Halloween

Mother of 3 :) Wow!

Classic spaghetti picture!

Almost 1

Her 2nd Halloween

Turning into a blonde!

My toddler

Got into make-up!!

Big blue eyes

Mischievous personality reveals itself!!

My big girl

We always would find her asleep on the floor!

Our lives have been taken over by 3 little girls and we love it. Jude is our last baby though, unfortunately. During that c-section I had to have my tubes tied due to complications. At the time I was relieved and felt good about it. I go back and forth about it now. Sometimes I want another baby so bad and other times I defiantly do not! Depends on the day and season of life we're in at the time.

So, my youngest littles isn't so young anymore. She sleeps in a twin bed now. She is apparently potty training herself. I often walk in on her naked straddling the toilet. It feels awkward so I say, "Oh....sorry Jude..." then walk out! When did she grow up into a potty training expert?!
She also enjoys climbing onto the counter and then washing her feet in the sink. She's a climber of ALL things. She can open doors, refrigerators, dress herself in her sisters clothes, jam DVD's in the VCR player, and run from me like you would not believe!! Jude is totally a 3rd born and loves to make people laugh. She is our baby girl and I'm SO thankful that God didn't let us decide our own future and how many kids we "thought" we needed.

Happy 2nd Birthday June Bug!!

Lately...

Well hello there! Where have I been?! The past three weeks have been...um...emotional, exciting, different, challenging and eye opening. It has been an interesting month for sure!

Almost 2

Family pictures April 2011

Growing fast!

I recently stopped working  for a dear friend in her home day care. I was fortunate enough to be able to take my youngest littles with me. I was working about 26 hours a week which I know is not a lot to most full time working people but for a wife/mother that has been home for the past few years, it was a lot! I was so anxious and ready to get out of the house and feel "needed" (as weird as that sounds).  I worked for about 4 months and then decided I needed to be at home again. Our lives got so busy all of a sudden. I don't even know how it happened but before we knew it, we had something scheduled 5 nights out of the week! I used to envy that type of life, when I home schooled and felt so lonely and secluded. Now...not so much. I needed to slow down and focus on my home and our family. Its been good but defiantly different. I forgot how clingy and bored my girls get when we're at home too much. Not something I enjoy...! It will take some getting use to again but that's OK. We have missed our morning walks around camp and just exploring the outdoors like we used to. We most all of missed seeing BJ throughout the day, something I never want to change!
I completed a bible study a couple weeks ago that really hit home with me. It affected me WAY more than I had planned or even wanted to. Obviously God was in control and knew that I needed to hear a few things. I was humbled, embarrassed, ashamed, hurt, enlightened but above all, forgiven! I was given the chance to re-evaluate my "priorities" and start over by focusing on things that really mattered. I made the bold, weird step to "delete" (which in Facebook terms merely means to "deactivate") my account so I could regroup and figure things out. Facebook can tend to be addicting, annoying, unnecessary, hilarious, interesting, boastful, awesome, fun....well, for me anyway! I needed a break from it so I took the plunge and "deactivated"! It was hard at first, which I realize is lame, but was good and well needed in the end. After a lot of changes and prayer, I decided to "log back in". To my surprise, note the sarcasm, the Facebook world was untouched, unchanged. I felt like I had just logged in the night before. Anyway, I will use it in small doses and move on! :)

These next few weeks will be full of moving, as the camp experiences a "house rotation", if you will. I am excited, anxious, thrilled, sad...too may emotions to convey. I have brought two out of my three daughters home from the hospital in this house. We have had MANY tears (a house full of 4 girls tends to be that way) in this home but much more laughter and giggles. We've explored every nook of this place and at the same time grown out of this place! We're ready to move on, and by move on, I mean down the road :). It's bitter sweet for everyone involved but good! :)
We're in a good place and God is good, all the time!

A glimpse into my 20's...

Here we go...In 20 minutes I will be 29. I know to most that seems so old and to others, so very young. I agree with both. The growth and maturity that occurs during your early 20's to mid 20's is SO significant! I feel like I changed into a completely different person over night by the time I was 26! The things I held fast to seemed so shallow and insignificant. My views on the world and values had changed. My faith had blossomed and grown. Those few years seemed so important to me and so critical but now I think of my next few years and how crucial THOSE will be! Either way, that last 9 or so years of my life have been, devastating, glorious, shocking, emotional, peaceful, full filling, dramatic, dreamy and above all, Messon! Here is a small and brief glimpse of what I've seen and experienced over the last 9 years.

My dad and step mom, Helen

My mom and dad a few years after they divorced

My parents divorced and my father remarried, bitter sweet and still something that lingers and affects my daily life.

My love

I was married and divorced with a baby by the time I was 23 (something most people don't know about me).  That season of life was very dark and depressing but God had a plan for me and my sweet Bella and bigger, better things were waiting for us! That plan involved BJ. He swooped right into our lives and we all fell in love. We like to say that Bella and I adopted him :)

By the time I was 27 I had given birth to 2 more girls!

My littles

the boat

The RV

Our boy

The cat

We moved to south Texas and we became pet owners, boat owners, RV owners....some phases lasting longer than others.

My west Texas nieces and only nephew :)

my south Texas nieces

My youngest niece

Over the past few years I have become an aunt!

My Grandad came to visit!

I have seen my brother grow into a man and graduate college! I had to say good bye to sweet Grandmommy a couple years ago.

Amanda :)

Kim :)

Shea :)

The men :)

I have lost contact with close friends that I grew up with. I have developed new friendships with precious people.

Bella turning 6!

Starting 1st grade!

Kinder at home

Bella being baptized by her Daddy :)

Kinder graduation with her buddy :)

I have seen my babies grow and change into little women right in front of me!! I have home schooled. I have learned to cook. I've seen my oldest completely give her little life to Christ! She's been baptized and has inspired ME to be a better Christian.